Hi, I really have hots for my work bestie, Joe. It sometimes hampers my work as I feel like talking to my office crush all the time.
My friend says that I have a crush on Joe because maybe I get bored at work.
I am not sure how to tackle this situation, and I don’t want to hamper my work. Can you suggest the things I need to do?
Well, this is one of the notes I received from a working professional who has a massive crush on her office crush.
First of all, let me tell you that having a work crush is not uncommon.
A Forbes Advisor report says that 46% of the survey respondents have a crush on their colleagues.
Further, 39% of the respondents have romantic feelings for a colleague.
So, first of all, breathe and know that you are not alone in this situation. Also, here, I have curated some cool ideas about how you can strike the perfect balance and stop hampering your productivity.
Contents
1. Why Am I So Attached To My Office Crush?
This is the first question you should ask yourself because the percentage of coworkers having a one-night stand is also quite high. (17%, according to a Forbes Advisor report).
So, you need to get clarity about what you expect from that person.
Is it a casual fling, or do you really like the other person? Further, you have to keep in mind that you share a certain professional dimension with the other person.
Your work crush may be your colleague, your reporting manager, or your subordinate.
If the person is your colleague, there will be better camaraderie, and the “conflict of interest” will be lesser.
However, if the person is your senior or you are a senior to the person, there will be a lot of factors like the performance assessments or appraisals at stake.
So, before taking a full dive into the relationship and its development, consider all these aspects.
Having clarity will help you manage the equation with the person and your work better.
“I Can’t Get Over Him, I Also Keep Thinking About Him During Board Meetings”
Do you feel very stressed at work, or do you sometimes feel bored while completing everyday chores? Further, do you keep thinking about your office crush, even during important meetings?
These all indicate that you are not particularly happy with your job role or you are not passionate about what you are doing.
Now, you need to ask yourself and know whether you are attached to the person because you want some relief from your work or you are genuinely invested in him/her.
2. Does Your Office Crush Feel The Same For You?
This is basic and true for every relationship. Yes, most of us cannot help going head over heels for a person.
Then again, you need to have emotional intelligence and be sure about what the other person thinks.
Also, it is not an easy affair to manage the romantic bond and professional responsibilities with the same intensity.
Unlike a casual hookup or fling, here, things may not work according to the way you planned.
So, before taking one step further, make sure that both of you are ready to take the grinds and that you are on the same page regarding managing romantic interests and work responsibilities.
“He Went For A Date With Me. Now He Does Not Seem Interested In Going Out”
Never push it hard! Let me explain. Suppose you went on a coffee date with your work crush. All went well for the first date.
However, after going on dates a couple of more times, you may find that things are not working that great between the two of you.
You may be interested in going on dates, but your office crush may not feel like it. Don’t force them to talk it out or spend more time with you.
It will be uncomfortable for them, and being unable to find the way out, they may inform your supervisor about your behavior.
Thus, things may backfire on you!
3. What Is The Company Policy Regarding Office Crush?
Today, many companies follow POSH or other policies that do not allow workplace romance between two workers.
So, once you are sure about your office crush and want to take things forward, you need to understand the office policies better and get in touch with HR.
However, many companies may require you to have a change of team or job role or even leave the job because of “conflict of interest” policies.
So, if you want to remain committed to the relationship but do not want to hamper your professional life, you must keep a plan B ready regarding your job.
4. Continuing In Secret Is Not A Great Idea
Many people said that there’s no big deal in having an office crush and keeping the matter a secret. Yes, you can continue like that unless the bond with your work crush is not hampering your productivity or workflow.
However, it’s difficult to hide your affection for the work crush, considering you spend around 8-9 hours a day at your workplace.
So, some of your colleagues will eventually figure out the bond you share.
“Can I Get Fired For Keeping The Relationship Under Wraps?”
Yes, you may get fired if you try to keep the relationship under wraps for longer. Some colleagues, out of a competitive mindset or just being resentful, can expose your relationship.
In such cases, your promotion may get hampered, or you may even get fired from your job.
5. Keep It Cool
If you have an office crush on someone and want to take things forward, be subtle in your behavior.
Initially, you can ask the person about their interests, like which movies they love to see or which coffee in the office cafeteria they prefer the most.
These little things show how you are genuinely interested in them without making it too flirty or uncomfortable.
6. Is Having A Work Crush Hampering Your Productivity?
Are you losing focus on your work or finding it difficult to juggle between the time you spend with your office crush and the time you devote to work?
This is a common problem as all days are not going to be even. Some days, you are going to have it rough on the personal front, affecting your professional performance.
On other days, some differences regarding work can become personal.
So, if you think that having an office crush is hampering your productivity, you need to make choices.
- Ask HR to change your reporting structure or team so that you don’t need to interact regularly for work.
- Change your company if that helps both of you to balance your personal and professional lives better.
7. Nurture The Relationship Outside The Office
It’s always a clever idea to keep your romance with your office crush outside the office doors. Make your work crush feel loved through subtle gestures or actions at the workplace.
However, to enjoy your bond or to know each other better, choose a neutral place or a casual occasion where both of you can be free of professional baggage.
Having An Office Crush: Some Other Things You Need To Keep In Mind
Since having an office crush can hamper your professional and personal life, you have to really be mindful or aware of various aspects of the situation. I have already shared the seven most essential things you need to keep in mind.
Here are some more questions that you need to ask yourself if you have a crush on your colleague or vice versa.
Is It OK To Have An Office Crush?
See, there is no point in being a moral police. It is OK to grow a fondness for someone who shares the same workplace. How you conduct yourself with an office crush is what matters the most.
So, use your judgments and have a thorough understanding of the workplace policy to express your feelings or act on it.
How To Manage A Situation When A Colleague Has A Liking For You?
If you notice that someone at the workplace has feelings for you, you need to sit back and relax. There is nothing to panic, trust me!
First of all, ask yourself if you also feel the same way about the person. If yes, then it’s a mutual thing, and you have to consider all the aspects regarding the work policy to take things forward.
However, if you feel that you only want to maintain work relationships with that person, be clear about it. Invite them to group meetings only and talk about work-related matters and basic things only.
How Can I Stop Obsessing Over My Office Crush?
We have this tendency to give all our attention to the person for whom we grow romantic feelings. However, you need to be rational, and you cannot let the person or their thoughts completely occupy your mind.
Try diverting your mind by having interactions with other co-workers. Focus more on your work and try devising ways that will help you to become more productive.
How Can I Be Sure About My Colleague Having A Crush On Me?
The things or indicators of someone being in love with you are quite basic and generic. If your colleague keeps on complimenting you for the smallest things or remembers every detail about you, you will understand that the person has a liking for you.
The person will also love to have lunch with you, send messages outside work, and express their willingness to hang out outside work.
Do I Need To Be More Careful About My Office Crush In Social Media Posts?
Yes, you have to be very careful about social media usage if you have an office crush. Ask yourself many times before you share a single post on any social media platform. It will always be best to share a photo or any post related to your office crush on social media.
Your colleagues and other acquaintances will be on the social media platform. So, the news of anything brewing between you, too, will spread faster than instant coffee. Also, only share any post on social media when you are fully aware of the consequences and you are in a committed relationship.
Final Words
If you have an office crush and you want to manage the situation, you need to follow the two most important things.
You need to give your work crush some space, and at the same time, you need to take care of yourself.
Further, be easy on yourself, and if you want to commit to a relationship, make preparations to accept the changes in your professional space.
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